Things I've Learned or Concluded in the Last Couple of Years


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By: Bob McGuffin - 06/21/03

If terrorists attack us and world opinion sees us as selfish, spoiled, destructive and imperialistic, acting that way even more will stop the attacks and change world opinion.

The more people vilify other people, the more adult they are.

We say they're evil; they say we're evil. Evil people kill innocent civilians, believe God is guiding them and hate ambiguity.

God wants a lot of people dead.

Our image of God is more like God than their image of God.

When we're afraid, whatever our government does is fine.

When we're afraid, its OK if our leaders are delusional as long as they really believe in their delusions and state them strongly.

If we win a war quickly, then the war was morally right.

We should invade countries that we think are a threat; then we will find evidence that they were going to threaten us.

Bombing a country, overthrowing its government and crippling its infrastructure is the same thing as reconstructing the country.

If our enemy is vastly weaker, we should still celebrate our victory like it was a fair fight and a close contest.

Watching a war on television is a lot like watching a movie, but without the gory violence that Hollywood uses to corrupt our children.

When our government kills thousands of innocent civilians with our consent and money, it didn't really happen or the people aren't really dead.

When innocent civilians continue to die as a result of our actions, it's not really happening or the people aren't really dead.

When we kill thousands of civilians, there is a secret formula for counting them that makes their loss less than our loss.

When soldiers kill people in war, they are not personally responsible because people in the government absolve them.

If soldiers kill people at home they are personally responsible and should be killed to prove that murder is wrong.

The Arab states should declare peace towards Israel. Then Israel will tear itself apart.

The Israelis should give the Palestinians their own state. Then the Palestinians will tear themselves apart.

The more people fight and kill each other, the more they will be secure.

Christians should prevent Israel from making peace so that Christ can come again.

Israelis and Palestinians who want peace should form their own country.

Affirmative action should end, now that there's no more racism.

When black people who have benefited from affirmative action want to repeal affirmative action, their motive really isn't self-hatred.

If you give rich people tax breaks, they will give the extra money to poor people, or, at least, hire more gardeners.

If someone promotes a war and then profits from it, they haven't done anything wrong, especially if their friends think they haven't done anything wrong.

When we don't have money or jobs, we should worry instead about terrorism.

Mental illness and personal immaturity are not mental illness and personal immaturity when expressed through a political or religious ideology.

Women should run the world.




Bob McGuffin is a contributing writer for Liberal Slant.