:: to the teeth ::    thoughts on social justice, medicine, race, hope and beats

"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way.
On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." :: Arundhati Roy ::

"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." :: Alice Walker ::
Thursday, April 22, 2004  

The Onion has some great tips to help prepare patients for a trip to the hospital. Some of them are posted below.

--> Before entering a hospital for treatment, weigh your holistic health-care options against your wish to actually get better.
--> If you have a wok at home, it's a good idea to get some bedpan practice before the pressure is on.
--> Bring your regular medications with you to the hospital. God only knows where the hospital finds theirs.
--> Whatever you do, don't check into any facility called "General Hospital." That place is full of back-stabbing, narcissistic lunatics.
--> Pack several extra pairs of slippers. Slippers in the hospital are like cigarettes in prison.
--> Many patients complain that hospitals cut their stay short. Don't be coerced into signing out until you're dilated to 10 cm and the baby's head can be seen.
--> Bring $500 in fives to "grease the wheels," if you get my meaning. The good mashed potatoes.
--> Keep in mind that, today, many procedures can be performed on an outpatient basis. Some can even be done outside.


posted by Anjali Taneja | 4/22/2004 02:40:00 PM | |


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